


Clueless Bat

by MrGoingAstray



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Batjokes, Cat, Clementine - Freeform, Complete, Help, Hurt, It's Okay, M/M, first fic, joker needs a hug, ummm batman is a bit of a jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 19:31:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9286706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrGoingAstray/pseuds/MrGoingAstray
Summary: “Do you see those, what should I call them?”“Scum?”“Yes, scum, behind me?” The Joker hissed.Harley looked behind the Joker’s head as he casually raised one of his gloved hands to brush a few fallen eye lashes from her face. The Joker was smiling, but Harley could see that it never reached her eyes. They were cold, calculating.“Yes, I do honey pop.” Harley hummed.





	1. Mistaken Identity

**Author's Note:**

> First fan fic thing, a bit oc joker, i guess? comic versions of them, not a bit fan of suicide squad joker... but whatever floats your boat!
> 
> also there may be more chapters!! just forgot to do that when i first set this baby up!

“Harley, my dear…” Licking the corner of his mouth the joker perked up in the seat he was casually leaning back in, legs spread beneath the dinner table like a king on his throne.  
“Yes?” Harley smiled, leaning on the table as well.  
Today was casual Fridays, as the Joker had told her last week. They are to dress down, conceal their identities, and have lunch at a small restaurant on the nicer side of town to see about a new copycat teen gang trying to impose themselves as the Jesters. The joker’s hair was died red and cut shorter than he would have liked, with thick glasses to make him appear younger. Harley let her blond hair settle across her shoulders, wearing a black leather jacket with small spikes on her shoulders. Joker still wore his colors, but with deeper shades and less ‘look at me’ make up. Instead he concealed his scars, hating that the makeup itched at his skin, making him feel naked.  
“Do you see those, what should I call them?”  
“Scum?”  
“Yes, scum, behind me?” The Joker hissed.  
Harley looked behind the Joker’s head as he casually raised one of his gloved hands to brush a few fallen eye lashes from her face. The Joker was smiling, but Harley could see that it never reached her eyes. They were cold, calculating.  
“Yes, I do honey pop.” Harley hummed.  
Sitting back into his seat the Joker took that moment to stretch. The Joker could smell the imposters a mile away. The way they laughed, joked, whispered, everything about them screamed ‘disaster’.  
“What a disgrace, they are. They don’t even have the right colors.” The Joker pouted. “Pour batsy would be so disappointed.”  
Like a switch Harley watched that cold and calculating stare the Joker bore turn to glee as he began to laugh, loud. His laughter caught the attention of the group behind them, and a few other on lookers. His laughter turned into a fit of giggles as the teens behind him all looked at each other, pissed. They thought he was laughing at them. Harley sighed, knowing this was the last of the ‘casual Fridays’. She was a bit upset, she liked going out during the day, it was cute to see Mista J all dressed up, looking almost happy, normal.  
“Hey, loser. What’s so funny, huh?” It was one of the teens. There was six of them, all decked out in bright purple and yellow clothes. Each one wore a ‘J’ symbol on their clothes and one, who seemed to be the leader, wore the full ‘Jester’ logo. The Joker was still laughing, only it came out more of a hiccup now and then.  
“Why, what eh-hah-ever do you mean?” The Joker coyly smiled.  
“Now listen here jackass-” The leader said as he grabbed the Joker by the throat, yanking him up and out of his seat. Harley rolled her eyes and pretended not to care while her hands slid under the table and onto a bat she hid between her legs. It was a beautiful bat covered in rusted nails. Harley grinned as some of the members eyed her, but she kept her sweet smile steady. The Joker on the other hand busted out laughing, making everyone in the dinner look right at the group.  
“Hey you kids better stop before I call the cops!” A waitress yelled.  
“Shut the fuck up!” One of the members pulled a gun out, aiming it towards the waitress.  
Like clockwork people began to scream and hide. The Joker had stopped laughing as the gun was aimed at him, but that smile too wide for his face never dropped a beat.  
“Hey, kid, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Someone said from behind the group. It was a man, well built, sturdy, and sipping on a cup of coffee with tired, dark eyes. The Joker snapped his eyes towards the man, confused, but curious. Dragging the Joker along with him, choking him, the leader turned to the man, smiling evilly.  
“And what are you going to do about it?” The leader mocked. Joker watched intently, chocking of course, but still conscious enough to stay awake. His smile had slipped from his face as he eyed the man up. He was sturdy, military maybe, with sharp features, almost like…Joker shook his head, no way pretty boy here was anything like his bats. Nearly losing interest the Joker began to look towards Harley to give her the signal to attack when the man stood, voice dropping a few pitches, not much, but it instantly sent shivers down the Joker’s spine.  
“I said that was enough.”  
With wide eyes the Joker looked at the man with shock. He, no, there wasn’t any way this could be him, could it? The business man fixed his tie as the leader laughed, followed by a few of his minions. Vision never wavering the Joker began to really look at the man. He might not be his bats, but he sure was big like him. Joker felt his stomach become light. The man had caught his attention. Joker, now tired of playing with these kids, more interested in this new guy, began to squirm. He was immediately back handed, hard, snapping his vision away from the interesting man.  
“You stop right there!” The leader yelled, now with a gun in his hand, pointing it at the stranger. The man raised his hands, frowning, looking at the Joker with concern. Blinking away the dancing mist fogging his eyes the Joker looked at the man, then to the gun, then to the hand holding his neck. He didn’t like it one bit. Harley was beyond on edge behind all of them, eyes trapped between the two members pointing a gun at her to her Mista J. She didn’t like where this was heading. The Joker glanced at the man one last time, catching that cold, almost calculating stare he was giving the leader before the Joker snapped. Even if this man wasn’t his bats, he was his now. Not liking the fact that the leader had a gun on him Joker bit down hard, drawing blood from the hand holding him down. Crying out in pain the leader dropped the Joker. Landing hard on his knees, but not letting the pain get to him, the Joker kicked out the legs of the leader, hard enough for his gun to go flying.  
Members of his group cried out, immediately going to help their leader when the high pitch screech of sirens caught everyone’s attention.  
“You’re fucking lucky you freak.” The leader yelled at the Joker while the group ran. The Joker had on a bloody grin, proud that he made the kid bleed. Spitting some of the excess blood onto the ground the Joker was about to stand when he felt something heavy on his shoulders. It was that man. When did he move? The Joker thought as he felt the full weight of his hand curl around his shoulder.  
“Hey, are you okay?” The man asked, gently turning the Joker to face him, lifting his chin towards the ceiling to look him in the eyes.  
Looking the man in the eyes Joker found his mouth go dry. This guy’s hands were huge, precise, and callused. The Joker could feel power flow through his fingertips. By now his stomach was dancing violently in his stomach, heart racing, palms beginning to sweat. For the life of him the Joker couldn’t get himself to smile his trademark grin, instead me smiled shyly and swallowed a lump in his throat.  
“Misha J-I mean Jack! Are you all right?”  
Harley’s voice snapped the Joker awaked, making him flinch out of the stranger’s hands. Trying to play cool, mask falling back into place, the Joker stood, followed by the man.  
“I’m fine, dear. Just a bit knocked hahh ah-silly, is all.” The Joker said, turning to face Harley.  
In his peripheral he never let the man out of his sight. The man continued to look at the Joker with concern, eyes traveling up and down his body. Something about that man seemed familiar to the stranger. Realizing he didn’t know his savior’s name the man cleared his throat, making Harley and the Joker turn to him.  
“Thanks, uh, for that, back there. Name’s Bruce. Bruce Wayne.” Bruce offered his hand out.  
“Jo-Jack.” The Joker smiled. “Anytime, big buy.” And he winked at Bruce.  
Bruce was a bit shocked which made him laugh, loudly. Joker’s smile grew, finally reaching his eyes, as Harley noticed. She pouted in the background, upset that Mista J wasn’t paying any attention to her. She was the one who had his back, waiting for his order, but instead he was too interested in this Bruce guy. Bruce noticed Harley’s jealousy, and was a bit confused, but his eyes didn’t stay on her long before moving back to look Jack in the eye. He was a tall, man? Bruce assumed. The glasses made him appear younger, but Bruce could see the laughter lines and age lines hidden well beneath the thick rimmed glasses. Assuming that Jack was older than him might be pushing his luck. This guy might actually be older than he was, but not by much Bruce noticed.  
Something else about this man screamed familiarity to Bruce. To say the very least this man was attractive, scrawny, but that could be because of his loose clothes Jack was wearing. After he calmed down from smiling Bruce finally realized what caught his attention. It was the blood on Jack’s mouth. Flashes of the Joker spread quickly throughout Bruce’s mind, making him feel on edge. Those thoughts were quickly interrupted when the police finally entered the restaurant. They began questioning the waitresses and other victims, distracting Bruce, but not enough to see the blond girl that was with Jack pull him harshly away from Bruce and straight towards the back door.  
Curious, but not wanting to draw attention to the fact that key witnesses split, Bruce gave a quick statement, telling the officer’s he was late for a date, then quickly exited the scene, giving the officers his business card, and hoping that Jack wasn’t too far ahead. It didn’t sit well with Bruce how similar this guy was to the Joker. Batman knew the Joker. His mannerisms, his hair, makeup, everything. Batman could spot his ‘dance’ partner a mile away, but Bruce had to admit he probably wouldn’t be able to spot the Joker if he was in normal clothes, acting normal, pretending. Sighing loudly Bruce entered the back alleys, hoping to spot the red head when he heard yelling. It sounded like that girl, the blond. Quietly Bruce hid behind a pile of garbage, no one else was in the alleyway, and it was only a few streets in from the roads, but still it wasn’t a place someone like Bruce would be caught in, unlike Batman. But he wasn’t Batman now, but Bruce couldn’t shake this feeling that he should follow the guy. So ignoring that voice in the back of his head that sounded a lot like Alfred, Bruce grew closer to the couple, just close enough to hear what they were arguing about.  
“ley- sweetheart, darling, it’s nothing personal. I’m just not in the moo-d to deal with you right now. I have other important things to attend to, now, be a dear, and go away!” The Joker hissed.  
He usually was a lot meaner to Harley, but that man from earlier, Bruce, had taken some of his fire away. Damn him! The Joker thought as he crossed his arms angrily, glaring at Harley who did the same. She was even more pissed off than ever, for some unknown reason to the Joker.  
“It’s because of him, isn’t it?! Anyone that looks like your darling Ba-“  
“-Do not test me, darling.”  
“Anyone that looks like him makes you bend over like some…some…some bitch! You forget I even exist whenever he’s around. I’m tired of you ignoring me. I’m tired of it! I’m going to spend a few days with Ivy until you apologize. Enjoy yourself, Jack-ass.” Harley all but yelled as she turned and walked away, leaving an annoyed Joker behind.  
“Women. It’s alright though, we girls will stick together, yes?” The Joker laughed, turning around.  
Bruce froze from where he was hiding. There was no way Jack could see him, or could have even heard him for that matter. Ready to move and apologize for interrupting Jack a cat hopped down from nowhere. It was black with piercing green eyes and a long, slick tail that seemed to be a bit too long for its body. The feline meowed its annoyance at the Joker before strolling up to him. Crouching down the Joker scooped him up and began to talk to it in a loving, baby voice.  
“Thank you Clementine, for waiting for me. I was worried some dogs finally got to you, hahha.” The Joker teased. Clementine glared at the Joker, turning its face away from him like a pout.  
“Aw, come on! It’s not like I told you to stay out in the streets all night, you practically begged for it, especially after you ruined my batman socks!” The Joker accused. “But that’s all in the past now! Time to prepare! You’re almost ready to join me and my nighttime fun times!”  
The Joker announced to the cat with a small twirl of his hands. The cat looked unamused, but hopped onto the Joker’s shoulders with ease. Smiling in victory the Joker began to walk towards where Bruce was hiding. Trying to think of an escape Bruce quickly backed up into the alley way, far enough to seem like he was just entering the alleyway as Jack rounded the corner still talking excitedly to the cat. The cat perked up and meowed loudly, signaling to the Joker that someone was ahead of them. Ready for another annoying round with Harley the Joker was shocked to see a guilty looking Bruce stop walking at the end of the street and wave toward him.  
Jack had almost forgotten about the man, and was a bit angry at himself for such a thought. Smiling a bit too wide the Joker nearly ran toward Bruce, stopping a hair fraction away from him, hands behind his back, cat looking at Bruce with caution. Joker’s heart was racing again, making his legs tremble with anticipation to mess with the man. Oh how the Joker wanted to seduce this man into his bed tonight, but the Joker was a patient man, and was willing to bait his pray with ease.  
“Uh, funny running into you here.” Bruce smiled shyly. He still hadn’t come up with a reason as to why he was following Jack, but Jack didn’t seem to notice, just happy to be talking to him again.  
“I’d say. It’s almost like it was fate.” The Joker hummed, licking his lips.  
Bruce followed his tongue, all too familiar with how the Joker did the same thing. Bruce looked at the man’s face but saw no scars. Joker noticed Bruce’s eyes following his tongue and felt his stomach flutter. Maybe this was going to be harder than he thought, the Joker mused. Especially if his body decided to act this way without his knowledge or control. Deciding that he would risk coming on a bit too hard the Joker took another step forward, right into Bruce’s space.  
Bruce didn’t notice at first, still too busy comparing this man with his Joker. Suddenly Bruce felt the heat of Jack’s body close to his. Looking down, ready to take a step back, Bruce became stuck in a sort of twilight zone. This man, Jack, was looking at him like some of the models he took home looked at him by the end of the night. His pupils were blown, and his mouth was hanging a bit open, inviting. Bruce would be lying if he didn’t find this man tempting, to say the least. He was reminding Bruce of the Joker by the second, and instead of derailing his thoughts it only fueled their fire.  
“Why don’t you, ahha, take me out to dinner, one of these days, aye, big boy?” The Joker whispered.  
His tone went straight through Bruce, making his mouth go dry. Only one other person has made him feel like this, heart racing, adrenaline pumping, but that man was not here now, as far as Bruce could tell.  
“As payment, for, ahh saving you earlier.” The Joker smiled, taking a step back. He watched how Bruce wanted to take a step forward but hesitated. Lips twitching in a smile the Joker looked away from Bruce to Clementine. The Joker felt like a high school girl, well as close to one as he thought he could be.  
This man might not be his bats, but he sure was gorgeous. Maybe he could make his Batman jealous, knowing that Joker was interested in someone else other than him. The beating that he would get for it made the Joker laugh quietly to himself as he waited for Bruce to answer him. Even if he told the Joker no he would be fine with that. At least he’d still have a story to tell his batsy about.  
Bruce’s mind was racing. Was this guy for real? He couldn’t tell. This beautiful, yes beautiful man was hitting on him, him, Bruce Wayne. Maybe he knew who Bruce was and was just trying to get into the papers as a new scandal. A lot of people knew who he was, but usually some type of recognition would flash in their faces, none of that happened with Jack. Eyeing Jack cautiously as he petted his cat Bruce thought that if he was just looking for some attention, then so be it. At least he’d keep the people of Gotham busy while Batman is free to do as he pleases.  
“Sure, when and where?” Bruce broke the silence with one of his trademark smirks.  
Joker looked at him and smiled like a kid in a candy store.  
“R-really? I mean I don’t care when and where, well not tonight, have things to do! But maybe tomorrow? Or Friday? Whatever, I don’t care.” The Joker rambled. Realizing he was rambling the Joker blushed, actually embarrassed for losing his cool so fast. ‘Anyone that looks like him makes you bend over like some…some…some bitch!’ Harley’s words echoed in his mind, making him frown.  
“Friday sounds like a great idea. Where shall I pick you up?” Bruce smiled.  
“Um…how about I meet you there? That way it’ll be easier for the both of us.” The Joker answered. Clementine was not amused. She could tell this man was making her master anxious. She did not like it one bit. She might still be a Joker’s assistant in training but she still watched over her master unlike everyone else. She cared about him.  
“Whatever makes you comfortable. So Friday, how about around 6? Any food preferences?” Bruce asked.  
“Anything but Chinese food.” Joker answered a bit too happily.  
“No sea food, got it. How does Iceberg Lounge sound?” Bruce questioned.  
Bruce asked Jack this question on purpose. He knew that the Penguin ran the place, but this was mostly likely the busiest area in town and likely to have paparazzi lining the doors. Bruce would rather go somewhere else more private, but he was one to give the people what they wanted.  
The Joker on the other hand didn’t like the idea one bit. He was going to be visiting the Penguin later tonight and annoy the crap out of him, so going back to the joint a few days later didn’t seem like a good idea. Not that annoying the Penguin even more wasn’t fun but, he wasn’t trying to get into his pants like he was with Bruce. Just one night, that’s all I need, the Joker thought evilly. If Bruce was good to him he might even let the guy live afterwards.  
“Hm, that place is a bit, eh, crowded, no? How about someone more, let’s say, personal.” The Joker purred. Bruce’s look of shock flashed quickly through his face, catching the Joker’s attention. Quickly Bruce pulled his mask back in place and smiled genially this time. The Joker mused, from what Bruce was wearing at the moment, that this man had money. The Joker had to admit his name did sound familiar, but he really didn’t care. Joker assumed Bruce picked that place thinking he was looking for a quick lay, which wasn’t the entire case, and a bit of flashing lights, but the Joker didn’t want any of that Friday night, no. His focus was on a bigger prize. Cheap attention from the media will do nothing for him that batsy won’t do once he finds out he has a new lover.  
Smiling the Joker thought about the restaurant they were just at. He had grown fond of the place, especially now that it’s brought Bruce to him, and it seemed like the perfect place to have some nice, alone time with Brucey.  
“How about that little dinner we were at earlier? Daisy’s Due? Was it?” The Joker initiated.  
“That, actually sounds like a great idea, though aren’t you worried those punks from earlier will be there again?” Bruce asked dumbly. He knew they wouldn’t, he’d make sure of it tonight.  
Bruce didn’t notice it, but now the blood on Jack’s face was nearly gone. He had mixed feeling about that, which made him look away from Jack to his cat Clementine that was glaring holes in his suit.  
“I’m sure Batman will take care of them, or the Joker. I hear he’s not too fond of copycats.” The Joker joked.  
“That, you’re right. Joker is a bit territorial.” Bruce laughed.  
“I’d say he’s more, ahha, jealous his batman will pay more attention to them, then him.” The Joker whispered.  
“His batman?” Bruce asked, confused.  
“Well, you know, he was Batman’s first villain, I’d be a bit mad if some stranger tries to steal my identity and steal my love away from me.” The Joker answered before thinking. Great, now the Joker was sure this guy thought he was a freak. The Joker laughed weakly before turning on his heels to walk away.  
“Well this has been great! See you Friday!” Joker yelled as he took off running down the alleyway.  
Too stunned Bruce just stood there running Jack’s words through his head. Maybe the guy thought him and the Joker were a thing, weird, Bruce thought. Then he began to wonder who else thought that. A bit in a daze Bruce decided to let Jack go and head back home to catch a few hours of sleep before he went out later as Batman. As he laid in bed Jack’s words echoed in his head, keeping him from sleeping. Images of him and the Joker fighting came to his mind. The Joker once said what they did was a dance. Maybe it looks like that to the others too, Bruce thought gravely.  
. . . . . .  
“I’m such an idiot!” The Joker yelled as he hung upside down on the empty monkey bars. It was night now, and most of Gotham’s criminals were out to play, but the Joker was still too busy hating himself for acting so…himself in front of Bruce. Clementine was busy working on her evasion skills on the playground beside the Joker to comment on how right he was. By now Clementine finally understood why her master was so, off. He liked this man, Bruce. Doing a flip off the slide Clementine decided to join her master on the bars, skillfully jumping up to balance up top next to the Joker.  
“And I know you’re a cat, and I’m not really too fond of cats,” The Joker hissed. “But surely you understand me, right? I mean how could I not act like that? He’s just so…so…delicious. I just want to rip into his skin and bury myself inside him.”  
Clementine gave a small huff of annoyance, hating that her master compares her to that sorry excuse of a villain, Cat Woman. Clementine was young once. She used to adore that woman, but soon she realized that she was nothing but a small time villain and Clementine had bigger goals. When she met the Joker he was rude, mean, but he had that intensity and madness Clementine was craving. She won him over after finally saving his life from a few low level muggers, and since then they’ve been besties, as the Joker puts it.  
“I mean look at me! I’m a mess. I’m disgusted with myself. If Batsy could see me now.” The Joker pouted. He was still wearing his clothes from earlier, his makeup still covering his scars. He had forgotten about changing, but at that moment all he really wanted to do was re-due the conversation he had with Bruce earlier. To say the Joker was mortified about how he was acting right now was an understatement. He was acting too…human.  
“Disgusting.” The Joker hissed to himself.  
Clementine began to growl, causing the Joker to snap out of his pity party and towards where she was hissing. The gang from earlier was coming his way, beers in hand, baseball bats and guns in others. Clicking his tongue, the Joker went straight for his knife he had hidden in his jacket only to find it gone.  
“Shit.” The Joker cursed, realizing he must have dropped it back at the alley when Harley had slapped him. The group drew closer, one of them spotting the Joker.  
“Hey, boss, look it’s that freak from earlier!” Said a goon.  
The Joker was not amused. Finally admitting defeat for his knife he stayed hanging upside down on the bars and waited for the group to come closer. Clementine took the chance to hide, giving her a chance at a surprise attack if need be. The group laughed and circled the Joker while he looked at them bored. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with these brats, copycats at that. The leader came in front of the Joker, hand wrapped around a bat, hand bandaged from the Joker’s earlier attack. The Joker found it funny that these punks had no idea who he really was.  
“Looks like no one is coming to save you know, freak.” The leader spit, kicking the Joker in the stomach. He barely flinched, still looking at them bored to hell. The leader was a bit taken aback at the Joker’s reaction, anger growing tenfold.  
“I’d really appreciate it if all of you would kindly fuck off, please.” The Joker said, finally getting himself down from the monkey bars.  
“What’d you say, freak?” The leader hissed, pushing the Joker a few steps back.  
The word freak was starting to get to the Joker by now. He could feel his cool resolve fall, leaving behind nothing but his blood lust. Even if these kids didn’t know who he was they could still feel the unease the Joker admitted into the air. Death screamed at them and their instinct to run flagged high, but the stubborn kids they were, none of them moved.  
“Listen if you don’t shut up I’ll-”  
“You’ll what, kill me?” The Joker laughed. Everyone in the group was looking at one another in fear.  
“I’m going to bash your fucking face in-” The leader began to yell.  
“Not on my watch you’re not.” Batman said from behind the gang.  
Chaos erupted at that point, making the Joker fall back into his sound mind as he watched his bats…save him. It would have been funny if not for the anger the Joker was feeling at not being able to kill these kids. Looking around the Joker ran towards Clementine, scooping her up, and kicking a few of the goons standing in his path. He was not in the mood to deal with his bats today.  
“Stop right there!” One of the goons yelled, jerking Joker by the back of his jacket, nearly making him drop Clementine. Cold metal pressed against the side of the Joker’s head. Rolling his eyes, the Joker looked at his attacker to notice it was the leader. What a coward, the Joker thought.  
“Stop right now or I’ll shoot!” The leader yelled more frantically, smashing the gun deeper into the side of the Joker’s face.  
“Listen, kid.” The Joker said, looking the leader right in the eye. “Go ahead and shoot me. Ever seen blood? Or how about brains? Ever try to wash it off your clothes?”  
“What?”  
“Oh, or better yet, the smell? You can wash over and over but you can never really get rid of it, you know? What are you going to tell your dear mommy when you’re behind bars because clearly killing me will get you locked up faster than it will take for the cops to show up.”  
“Shut up.”  
“See Batman over there is, like, bullet proof. Kill me and you have no escape, only one ticket strait to the big house.”  
“I said Shut Up.”  
“Sounds like fun, right? Getting fucked by all those men ten times your size, ooohh, how dreadful that would be. And What do you think will happen once the Joker finds out you’ve been trying to copy him, hmm? I bet-”  
“I said SHUT THE FUCK U-”  
Batman waited for an opening and Jack gave it to him as the kid lifted his hand to strike Jack. Moving quickly Batman got the gun away, knocking the attacker on his face while the Joker took a calm step back. Soon after that Batman had everyone tied and under control in less than three minutes. Joker watched him, unsure if to run. Surely his batsy would notice who he was, right? Rocking back and forth on his heels the Joker tried to decide whether to book it or not, but was too late as Batman stepped in front of him.  
“L-l-look Bats-Erm Batman, no harm no foul right? I mean I wasn’t really doing anything-”  
“Don’t you think it’s about time you head home? It’s not safe out here at night.” Batman interrupted Jack. Batman had assumed he was afraid of him because of how Jack was rambling, but as soon as he finished talking Jack busted out laughing. It was childlike, and cute, Bruce thought through his shock. Joker covered his face, dropping Clementine to the ground as he tried to stop himself from laughing. His batsy really didn’t know who he was, now that was funny.  
“Will, ahh-hahh do sir!” The Joker saluted, spinning on his heels and running off in the direction of his nearest hideout. Confused Clementine and Batman watched the Joker run off into the distance. Realizing she was getting left behind Clementine sized up Batman before running after her master. Bruce was surprised by everything Jack had done in the short amount of time knowing him. He successfully distracted an attacker at gun point, was able to freak the kids out with just words, and none of it seemed to faze him. Bruce should have been a bit worried by Jack’s choice of words he used earlier, but he let that voice in the back of his head go on ignored.  
Batman stood there, watching Jack leave with a small smile on his face. This guy was too much for him. Bruce shook his head then turned back to his captives. He was really looking forward to that ‘date’ Friday. 

“Clemey! There you are, thought I lost you back there!” The Joker laughed from where he laid on the floor, ignoring the decent looking bed right beside him. Clementine huffed out in annoyance, jumping onto her master’s stomach.  
“He really didn’t notice it was me, huh?” The Joker smiled.  
His smiled turned sour fast, as he realized that his batsy really was clueless. Frowning now the Joker closed his eyes in a silent pout.  
“I was supposed to play with him tonight, after pengu, you know.” Joker whispered. “I bet he misses me. I mean how could he not! We’re practically soulmates…”  
Clementine didn’t like the Joker’s tone, or lack of it.  
“Do you think he really misses me Clemey?” Joker asked, knowing she would not answer. “Batsy didn’t even notice it was me right there. Maybe…Maybe he really doesn’t…” The Joker stopped his train of thought. Of course his bats missed him! What was wrong with him today?  
“I know!” The Joker shot up, pushing off Clementine before running over to his latest plans. “After our date with Brucey babe, I’ll just…” But the Joker couldn’t finish. He really wasn’t in the mood for chaos right now, and that concerned him.  
“Actually…” The Joker smiled to himself, maybe he was still in the mood to mess with his batsy boy tonight. “Say Clementine, how about we get you to do your first ever assignment, aye?”  
Clementine meowed loudly at the thought. Today was finally going to be her day! If she could just prove to her master that she was useful she could finally join him on all his missions. Joker laughed at her enthusiasm. Really he didn’t know why it took this long for him to drag her along with him. A part of him wanted her to stay his little secret. He didn’t like the thought of anyone petting or dressing his dear Clementine up like some china doll. Actually he wished that it was just him and Clementine, at least she never told him off every time he got the hots for his batsy. Really she was actually the only thing he liked, well except for his bats of course.  
“It’s only, let’s see, still night and I think I still owe my dear friend a visit. I mean, after all, he did say I could stop by any time.” The Joker laughed.  
Quickly he ran to his shabby looking bathroom and tore away his face makeup. Searching for a temporary bottle of green hair dye he quickly colored his hair. Followed right after he applied his white face paint, beautiful black eye shadow, and lastly his devilish red lipstick. Blowing a few kisses into the mirror Joker hopped excitedly out the bathroom and up to where Clementine waited patiently, but elegantly.  
“Onward!” The Joker yelled as he ran down stairs and right into a group of his goons. They all stood, watching their boss, who seemed to be in a happy mood, almost skip towards them. Johnny, waiting by the door, was the first stop Joker made, wrapping his arm around his shoulder.  
“Just me tonight boys! Johnny, you know what to do.” Joker said as he patted him on the head.  
The goons all watched in relief as the Joker turned to leave. It was rare that he didn’t drag them along, which meant that he was doing one of his ‘personal’ jobs. God help whoever he decided to join tonight. The Joker was out the door, followed by Clementine who was suddenly kicked a foot back. It was one of the returning members of the gang, drunk and high.  
“Out of the way you pest.” He hissed at the cat. Clementine turned so fast and was about to attack when the Joker appeared out of nowhere, splitting the guy’s throat. Clementine watched in awe as the beautiful shades of red danced around her, landing right beside her feet on the ground. Everyone’s mood went from calm to terror in seconds, all watching the now dead goon twitch on the ground.  
“Sorry, don’t like when people touch my things.” Joker hissed. “Anyone else want to try and take what is mine?”  
No one made a sound.  
“Good. Come now, Clemey, time to go bye-bye.”  
Johnny was the first to realize he was talking to the cat. With a huff and hiss at passing lackeys Clementine trotted up to the Joker, glaring back at the men before disappearing into the night with her master. Shaking his head Johnny shouted at a few men to clean up this mess. The Joker was always full of surprises, deadly sure, but that was The Joker for you, Johnny thought as he went to the back of the ware house to grab a couple of beers.  
“God help us all.” Johnny mumbled into a can of beer he began nursing. 

Two hours had passed since the Joker left his hide out. Two hours and he was already knee deep in blood and gore in the Penguin’s club. They were in the basement of the joint where Penguin kept most of his dirty work. The place was sound proof, which tickled the Joker because no one could hear Penguin’s goons scream for help. Clementine was busy tearing into one of those screaming goons, finally sinking her teeth into their throat, killing the man. Joker was against the wall with Penguin at his side, pale as a sheet. Joker was humming some up beat tune, hand resting lazily across the Penguin’s shoulder. The Penguin owed Joker some money, well owed him something. Joker wasn’t too happy it’s taken him two weeks to get back at him so his little surprise visit did just the trick.  
“L-l-l-look, Joker-” Penguin started.  
“Shhhh,” Joker put his bloody finger to Penguin’s lips. “Don’t ruin the moment.”  
“J-Joker I’m trying to apologi-”  
“Yeah, yeah, sorry this, sorry that, don’t care.” Running his finger down the side of the Penguin’s face Joker gave him a little slap. Laughing as the Penguin turned sickly looking.  
Just as the Penguin was about to beg for his life Batman chose to show up, right on time. He flew down the stairs, pausing at the bottom to take in the scene before him. Dead bodies littered the floor. Something black moved across their bodies, hissing, it was a cat Batman noticed. This cat looked right at him, eyes widening like a child caught taking cookies from a jar. Clementine was the first to put all the pieces together. She was smart, and proud of that fact, but right now she wished she hadn’t been seen. Clementine realized that this bat man had already seen her with Joker, earlier, when he wasn’t really the Joker. He had let them go, and now, well Clementine felt her stomach drop. She felt like she had blown her master’s cover. Right after Clementine put the pieces together Batman followed right after, eyes snapping to the Joker.  
Batman couldn’t believe it. Jack’s cat. Jack’s cat looked wounded to Batman, which wasn’t the case, but this made Batman storm over to where Joker was casually looking at him with a grin plastering his face. Pulling the Joker away from the Penguin Batman threw him across the room and right into the sharp corner of a desk.  
“I think it’s time to close shop.” Batman nearly yelled at the Penguin as the Joker gave a yelp of pain.  
Happy at not dying today the Penguin rushed up the stairs without another word. He knew better than to get in the bats way.  
“Ow. No foreplay then, Batsy darling?” Joker laughed. Clementine wasn’t sure if she was supposed to help her master. Joker gave her a look to back off and wait so that’s exactly what Clementine did. She waited, no matter how much she dreaded what was going to happen.  
Once Batman heard the top door close he stomped up to where the Joker was sprawled on the ground. With a disgusted sneer Batman lifted the Joker to his feet, slamming him into the wall. Joker continued to laugh until he couldn’t anymore.  
“What did you do to him?” Batman growled.  
“Him? I just scared him is all. You know how I don’t like people owing me money-”  
“Not the Penguin, Jack.” Batman barked.  
“Jack?” Joker asked, smile gone. What could he possibly- Oh. Oh no. Joker’s eyes went wide with shock.  
“Jack, the owner of the cat.” Batman said as he slammed the Joker against the wall, again.  
“Ow, shit. You shouldn’t start with the head, makes things fuzzy-”  
“Enough!” Batman yelled, throwing Joker to the ground. “Answer me.”  
Finally gaining some control over his initial shock Joker looked away from his Bats with a huff.  
“Okay, okay! Geeze. And here I thought you were happy to see me-”  
“Joker.”  
“Fine.” The Joker hissed. With shaky legs he got to his feet, still not looking Batman in the eye. He was about to try and lie to his Bats. The idea would have seemed fun hours ago, but right now Joker was caught with his hand down his pants and he was NOT happy about it.  
“I don’t know who this Jack boy is-”  
“Don’t you lie to me.” Batman growled, throwing himself on the Joker, pinning him to the wall. With his hands he trapped the Joker’s above his head.  
“Okay, look…” The Joker swallowed. His Bats was so close, pinning him, breathing down his neck. How the Joker craved this, needed this. His body reacted, growing hot. It made him squirm as he still refused to look at Batman in the eye. Joker began to sweat. He could feel everything pushing against him, the armor, the fabric catching on his skin, the sweet sting of bruises beginning to bloom on his ribs.  
“I found the cat in an alleyway, I swear!” The Joker finally yelled looking Batman in the eye. He was getting frustrated, but not with Bats, but with his body.  
“She followed me, end of story.” Joker spat.  
Batman studied the Joker. He was beginning to breath hard. Glaring down at the man Batman noticed the Joker was shaking. He wasn’t afraid, that much Batman was sure, but he wasn’t comfortable either.  
“If you’re lying to me-”  
“Oh, god…” The Joker moaned as Batman pressed closer into his space.  
The Joker’s moan went right into Batman’s ear, causing a shiver to pass through his body. Finally, Bruce realized why the Joker was so uncomfortable, he was hard. Pulling back enough to look at the Joker’s face Batman swallowed his train of thought. The Joker had his eyes closed, biting his lip, head bowed with a hint of pink tinting his cheeks from where his makeup used to be. He was trembling, legs slacking open, inviting. Something had to be messing with Batman that night because a flash of Jack, face bloodied, smiling, broke through. He remembered how intoxicating Jack looked at that moment. He had reminded him of the Joker. Now, with the Joker right here, in the flesh, there was no comparison. Batman, no Bruce, he wanted…He wanted the Joker. Batman tried to see this man as pitiful. He tried to see the blood covering the Joker as something disgusting, terrible, but those thoughts just fueled the fire in the pit of Batman’s stomach.  
“You’re not lying to me, are you?” Batman growled, pushing as hard as he could into the Joker.  
Whimpering the Joker just shook his head. Gracefully Batman withdrew one of his hands, lowering it to Joker’s hip. Joker’s eyes shot open, mouth hanging agape.  
“I’m going to search for weapon.” Batman lied. Batman knew he just wanted to touch the Joker. He wanted to bruise his flesh, kiss his neck, but couldn’t admit to it out loud. The Joker was stunned into complete silence. He let Batman touch his body, his stomach, his back, legs, arms. By the time Batman was done Joker was a mumbling pile of mess. He couldn’t stop his hips from rocking into Batman’s touch, his legs spreading even wider to give him more access. The Joker hoped he was at least making his knight embarrassed, if nothing else, but when the Joker looked into his eyes he couldn’t read him. If he wanted the Joker, now would be the right time. Joker was beyond pleased with how this night turned out. Even if he got thrown into Arkham he wouldn’t care, not with the way Batman was touching him now.  
“Kiss me.” The Joker whispered. He didn’t really mean to say it, but the situation was becoming too much. He wanted more.  
“What?” Batman asked.  
“Kiss me, please, just once.” Joker pleaded.  
Batman finally realized what he was doing and shook his face in disgust. The look on the Joker’s face nearly made Batman cave, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to, hell his body screamed at him when he pulled back from the Joker, but Batman stopped himself. He was disappointed in himself. Batman should know by now that the Joker would do anything to get under his skin, even if it meant pretending to like him. Batman assumed at that moment that everything the Joker was doing was fake. With a disgusted grunt he stepped away from the Joker, letting him fall to the floor. Joker’s eyes grew wide before hurt filled every pour. Batman didn’t miss that look, so deciding he should make sure the Joker never tries that again, he lashed out with words.  
“Kiss you? Who in their right mind would ever want to kiss you? You’re disgusting. Worthless, nothing but a petty criminal trying to get some attention-”  
“Wai-”  
But Batman cut him off, not giving him a chance to talk.  
“How could you ever think I would want to kiss you? You? A pathetic, freak of a clown. A joke.”  
“Stop-”  
“Everything about YOU disgusts me-”  
Anyone could see that the Joker was hurting. He had a look of pain, utter terror, but that didn’t stop Batman. Clementine saw this, knew that exactly what Batman was trying to do to her master. At that moment a very pissed off, disturbed young Clementine chose that moment to attack Batman in a spot she saw with the least amount of armor. Like quicksilver Clementine distracted Batman enough to give the Joker a head start out the door. The Joker bolted once he saw Clementine attack. He didn’t want to be here anymore, not after what Batman said.  
Batman didn’t even give a hard chase once he realized the Joker made a run for it. Batman knew he did the right thing, even if Bruce didn’t agree.  
. . . . . .  
The days leading up to Friday were the worst Gotham has seen in years. The Joker was at his best, or worst, according to Batman. He would send Batman on wild goose chases while buildings were blowing up on the other side of town. Instead of his usual banter he never once allowed Batman to run into him, instead leaving behind ‘love’ letters saying that this was for his own good. The only thing good that came out of it all was the total amount of deaths was a lot less than Batman expected. The deaths that did happen didn’t help the guilt Batman was feeling for how he basically mocked the Joker the last time he saw him. Days later Batman knew he messed up, severely. Bruce mentally scolded himself, telling himself that what he wanted with the Joker was sick, but it’s what he wanted, more than anything. After all the Joker has done to Bruce, to Batman, none of it stopped the fire he felt every time they were in a room together. Now, with a date coming up on Friday, Bruce wasn’t sure he could go through with it. A part of him wanted to see Jack because they guy was interesting, but the other part of him just wanted to go to the Joker and apologize and kiss the life out of him.  
Thursday evening Bruce decided that he will not skip his date with Jack. Why he agreed to go on a date with this guy to begin with was beyond Bruce, but now he saw Jack as an opportunity to maybe get the Joker out of his head. Maybe Jack was what Bruce needed. Bruce wasn’t shy to dating guys, he’s had a few rumors spread here and there over time, and Jack was quite handsome, so any rumors that could be spread now weren’t a problem for Bruce. The problem was that Bruce wanted Jack because he looked like the Joker. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea, Bruce thought. Looking like someone and acting like someone are two different things.


	2. Rage Is A Strong Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m so fucking stupid!” The Joker yelled in-between tears, pacing back and forth in the small, shabby kitchen. “I knew that saying something so ridiculous would ruin everything. But…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end to this mini short! not the best but it's what i worked with since i was having trouble. Enjoy~

For the first time since meeting the Joker, Clementine almost ran from him the moment they got back to the apartment after the, batman, incident at penguin’s place. But she knew she’d messed up, severely, and needed to pay the consequences. If death was on the list, so be it. Clementine knew getting into this field could cost her, and she knew it was even more of a possibility with the Joker running the show, but that was fine, she was a warrior after all, not some coward.  
That didn’t mean she wasn’t nearly pissing herself when the Joker turned his empty gaze at her. He slowly walked up to her, eyes cold, empty, evil, and hesitantly she held her ground. In a swift movement, the Joker snatched up her, raising he high and she snapped her eyes close, ears snapping back against her head and waited.  
And waited.  
Something wet slid across her fur, causing her eyes to snap open. The Joker was crying. Emotions flickered across his face so quickly that she could only tell he was sad, but above all else, pissed. He tried to compose himself, glaring daggers at her with little heat behind them.  
“You tell anyone and I’ll skin you and wear your fur as a fucking hat.” Joker hissed, finally wrapping his hands around Clementine in a hug.  
To say she was surprised was an understatement. Death, sure, was one thing she expected, but this, not so much. Immediately she began to purr, comforting the Joker with what little she could give.  
“I’m so fucking stupid!” The Joker yelled in-between tears, pacing back and forth in the small, shabby kitchen. “I knew that saying something so ridiculous would ruin everything. But…”  
He paused, looking at the ground. Clementine purring intensified, feeling her master’s pain though the air.  
“But…”  
The Joker was falling into a black hole of hell. Sighing he finally went to his bedroom, falling backward harshly against his generic batman blanket, head nearly snapping against the wooden frame. Raising his hands the Joker finally let go of Clementine, one hand draping over his face as he tried to cease to exists, the other at his side, clutching his blanket, nearly tearing it.  
“He could have just said no.” The Joker mumbled. “I mean it’s not that hard of a word, right?”  
Clementine, now free, decided to sit beside the Joker’s head for easy viewing privileges. She agreed, meowing loudly in approval. It really wasn’t that difficult of a thing to say.  
“I just… I was so lost in the moment I forgot who I was talking to-okay I didn’t forget, but he was just so…” The Joker trailed off, shoulders tense.  
Clementine growled, not liking the situation one bit. She agreed that the batman could have dealt with the situation a bit better, hell, hitting the Joker or beating the crap out of him would have been more acceptable than his words. Then again, she was a bit biased when it game to the Joker, Clementine sighed. She liked him, okay?  
“Shit, this is all my fault. I should have played it off as a joke!” The Joker hissed, sitting up. “Now that I think about it why the FUCK didn’t I?!”  
Jumping to his feet he began pacing again, leaving Clementine to watch helplessly.  
“That’s what I should have done not-not fucking cry! Or run! Who does that? I sure as hell don’t. Or didn’t…FUCK.” His hand shot to his hair, jerking harshly, making Clementine flinch. “I can’t live without him, you know Clemy? I can’t. Maybe…maybe if I set up some beautiful traps he’ll forget about the whole incident! And…and if he doesn’t see me for a while he’ll forget this ever happened and we can go back to how things used to be…I’ll just…I’ll just need to not let him get to close to me because…”  
The Joker went silent, finally letting go of his hair. Clementine let out a sigh of relief.  
“Because I can’t really control my body, can I?” Falling to his knees, once again causing Clementine to flinch back in pain, the Joker looked defeated. “And I don’t need batsy getting grossed out again, cause you know, I am pretty gross.”  
Wrapping his hands around his stomach the Joker tried to take even breaths.  
“And a monster…wait I’ve always been a monster! I can work with that, right?” The Joker shot up, staring towards Clementine. She nodded her head agreeing, because in fact he was a monster, but the best damn monster she’s ever seen. She’d be damned to have chosen another monster to follow, in fact.  
“I’ll just make sure he remembers that, heh…Ha. Hahh-” And with that the Joker lost the world around him as he laughed until he could barely breath.  
Clementine knew better than to think that was his normal laugh. It sent chills up her spine. The laughter echoed in her mind cold and calloused, reminding he just how much the batman had hurt him. She began to hate the batman, but tried to immediately let that train of thought go. ‘no matter what my batsy does, I’ll always love him, remember that just in case you feel like sharing your unwanted opinions.’ Joker had told her in a sing-song voice one day. This was the Joker’s problem, not hers, but she’d be damned if she let him near her master again while he is healing. 

. . .

Bruce was nervous, if he was honest with himself. It was ten till him and Jack were supposed to meet, and he had yet to show up. Bruce’s memory flashed to the night he saw Jack’s cat, sitting in a pool of gore casually poking at some of their dead faces with a knife in its mouth. As unusual as that was for Bruce to think of the cat since he had yet to figure out what the hell was happening to the thing, what if the Joker had lied to Bruce and had killed Jack? Before his mind could get out of control Bruce saw Jack leaning casually against the wall near the corner of the dinner, whistling some eerie version of hail the mountain king, eyes yet to spot him. Once he did spot him however he waved Bruce over toward him before ducking to the side of the building, entering the alleyway.  
A bit confused Bruce followed, heart racing from the fact that Jack was still alive, and well, looking like the Joker. Pushing those thoughts away Bruce finally caught up to Jack who was casually flipping a coin in his hand. His cat was nowhere to be seen, and Bruce wondered if the Joker killed the cat, or stole him. Was it even possible for a cat to like the Joker, Bruce wondered.  
“Hello there handsome.” Jack purred pushing off the wall.  
“Hello, darling.” Bruce automatically flirted back, slipping into his face persona with ease. It was over quickly, though, because Jack’s face dropped, eyes snapping toward the ground with a harsh glare. Bruce wondered if he did something wrong as he watched Jack mumble to himself, hands slowly turning into fists as he seemed to have an inner battle.  
“I-I meant to cancel this dinner, with you, but I couldn’t find your number.” Joker blurted out, looking nervous, eyes looking around like he was waiting for something bad to happen. “I can’t really stay, have some important business to attend to love! Bye bye!”  
And with that the Joker booked it down the alley. Bruce’s head screamed warning bells, telling him something was wrong with Jack, someone was after him, and without thinking twice about it he ran after Jack, catching up to him quickly. Bruce noticed he was fast, faster than him, surprising him a bit.  
“Wait!” Bruce yelled, causing the Joker to look back.  
The Joker was caught off guard seeing rich boy following him, and tripped on a pipe sticking out from behind a trash can. The pipe slashed him shin open and blood began to pour down his now torn pant leg. Joker, not fazed by the wound, flipped around on the floor to see Bruce catch up to him and kneel beside him.  
“Hey are you okay?” Bruce asked, worried.  
The Joker couldn’t take it anymore. Clementine had convinced him to at least tell Brucie babe that he didn’t want to see him, and the Joker did just that without killing him because he could be a decent creature from time to time, but it didn’t go as planned. He was so overwhelmed by how similar Bruce was to bats that he just…ran. Embarrassed. He had yet to see bats, and was still not wanting to face him just yet. All the hurt and longing crashed into Joker with vengeance as he ran from Bruce, reminding him that if this man knew who he really was, how he really looked, he’d react just like his bats, and the Joker couldn’t handle that, not right now.  
“I’m fine.” The Joker hissed, smacking Bruce’s hand away from his wound. He’d deal with it later.  
“Look I didn’t mean to do anything that could have made you uncomfortable earlier. Flirting is a bad habit I can’t really fix at the moment. My apologies.” Bruce said, looking like a kicked dog.  
“What are you-” But the Joker stopped. This man thought he ran because of harmless flirting. A laugh was ripped out of the Joker, causing Bruce to flinch. Bruce knew that laugh anywhere. Anxiety pooled in the bit of his stomach. No, he can’t be, Bruce thought. No, no, no, no, no-  
“Look, big guy, I didn’t run because you were flirting with me, that’s just, hahh, ridiculous. I ran because-” Joker stopped, looking down.  
Bruce held back on his mini panic attack in order to really look at Jack. There were bags under his eyes, and his face had a sort of sullen feel like he hadn’t eaten or slept in days. The manic in his eyes wasn’t there, and neither was the recognitions that Bruce was Batman. That let Bruce calm a bit, knowing his identity was safe, but it also made him worry why he was targeted. Was this some sick game he wanted to play on a stranger? Was he just trying to kidnap him for money, or to get to Batman again? The questions rained down on Bruce’s mind, but he was pulled back to reality at the Joker’s sigh.  
“Look, no harm no foul? I just wanted to make someone jealous, and well the guy thinks I’m disgusting so now there’s no point trying to get in your pants to make him jealous okay? I didn’t mean to, like, ditch you, but I just…” The Joker’s eyes looked defeated, and if that didn’t make Bruce guilty, he didn’t know what else would. “There’s no way someone like you would ever want someone like me.”  
And if Bruce thought his guilt couldn’t get any worse, he was wrong.  
“Someone like you?” Bruce asked, on edge. He was dreading what the Joker would say or do, but he felt like he deserved to know the pain he caused, even if it made him feel worse. The Joker mistook Bruce’s tone for confusion as he sighed. Scooting back to give Bruce some space the Joker jumped to stand, followed by Bruce.  
“It’s not like I’m going to use this disguise ever again.” Joker sighed as he began to tear off the fake skin covering his scars. And just like that Bruce was facing his greatest enemy.  
“I know, disgusting, am I right?” The Joker laughed in pain.  
“Now go on your merry way, I have things to do, people to see, things to kill!”  
And with that the Joker left Bruce in the dingy alley.

. . .

Another week went by without Bruce seeing the Joker. The first couple of days were hard on him as he tried to figure out why the Joker let him go. He was right there and could have killed him, but instead he treated Bruce…like a human. Bruce’s guilt was so strong that when he downed the suit he searched everywhere for the Joker. The need to apologize, to do something made Bruce nervous. Add the fact that the Joker hadn’t tried to do anything in days wasn’t helping to calm Bruce down.  
Then by chance one late night Bruce finally found him. Relief flooded his body when he noticed the Joker sitting on the edge of the roof, cat in lab, singing something out of tune, but so…him. Dropping down behind him his cat, Clementine, hissed, warning the Joker. Within seconds they were both on their feet, facing each other, eyes meeting. The Joker’s heart began to beat fiercely in his chest, making his hands shake at his sides. His stomach dropped, noticing Batman was the cause of his ruined ‘Clemy Time Play Time’ and his felt the urge to run scream throughout his mind.  
“Ah, eh Batsy, long time no see.” The Joker tried to play off, taking a step back. He was stuck in a hard place between Batman and the ledge, and the ledge started to look pretty good, if the Joker was honest with himself. The Joker waited for their usually banter to begin, but when Batman made no movement to continue Joker let his anxiety get the better of him and continue to talk.  
“You know you were pretty rude last time we met, it’s uh, a bit of off putting.” The Joker laughed awkwardly. “Not a way to a girl’s heart. Almost made me run back to dearest Harley, you know because she’d just love it if I-”  
Batman growled at that. Bruce was trying his hardest to remain level headed. He came here for a reason, what that reason was seemed fleeting to him, but he had one for fucks sake. But the Joker was making it difficult, and Bruce didn’t know why. Maybe it’s the tight clothes he was wearing like when he was Jack, or the way it hugged his body in all right places, but Bruce was beginning to lose his cool. He had waited so long to apologize, to do something, and even though he was already beginning to let his thoughts of the Joker enter his brain, his mind began to supply what he could be doing to him now, as an apology of course. Bruce was so busy thinking of all the ways he could apologies when the Joker’s rambling caught up to him.  
Clementine was waiting in the shadows, seemingly forgotten by the two. She was ready to defend her master at the drop of a dime but waited. Clementine sized up Batman, ready to go when she noticed his eyes. She’d seen that same look somewhere before, and then Clementine froze. Batman was Bruce she realized. Taken aback she sat down, eyeing the man oddly. So he was attracted to her master as well? Then why did he act that way? Clementine wondered. Shaking her head she let it be, and instead waited to see if her master gave her a sign to attack. Men, she thought.  
“I mean I know I’m not your type, but she sure loves me. All of me. The scars, my beautiful body, you know, my stunning personality. I should probably go to her now, you know? Just because you think I’m disgusting doesn’t mean other people do-”  
Before the Joker could say more Batman moved, grabbing him before he could take any more steps back and kissed him. The Joker reacted immediately, wrapping his hands around batsy head, hips sliding against him as he tried to get closer.  
Their dance wasn’t over, not yet, the Joker nearly cried in relief. He thought he had ruined it.  
As their new dance bloomed somewhere behind the men Clementine sat staring over the side of the building, purring happily. 

 

END


End file.
